Helping Kids Discover Their Core Values and Stay True to Them
As parents, teachers, and counselors, we often focus on helping kids set goals—like getting good grades, making friends, or practicing a new skill. However, just as important as goals are the values that guide them. Values are the deeper “why” behind what we do—they shape who we are and how we navigate the world. Values are more than just nice words; they are the foundation of a child’s future. They influence decision-making, build resilience, and help kids confidently navigate life’s challenges. Here’s why instilling strong values is so important:
Creates a sense of identity: Knowing what they stand for helps kids build self-confidence and resist negative influences.
Guides decision-making: When faced with difficult choices, kids can rely on their values to make the right decision.
Builds resilience: Children who understand their values can better handle setbacks and challenges.
Strengthens relationships: Kids who have strong values such as kindness, honesty, and respect are more likely to develop meaningful, healthy relationships.
1. Use Value Cards as a Hands-On Activity
A great way to introduce kids to values is through value cards—a simple and interactive tool that makes abstract concepts more concrete. These printable cards each contain a different value, such as honesty, kindness, or responsibility.
How to Use Them:
Spread the cards out and let your child choose the values that resonate most with them.
Ask open-ended questions: “Why do you think this value is important?” or “Can you think of a time when you showed this value?”
Encourage them to sort the cards into “most important,” “somewhat important,” and “less important” categories to help them prioritize their core beliefs.
Ask your child: What kind of person do you want to be? Let them choose the words that resonate, like “kind,” “brave,” or “helpful,” then find ways to practice those values every day.
(Download your free printable Value Cards below!)
2. Connect Values to Real-Life Situations
Once your child has identified their values, help them see how they play out in real life. Use stories, books, or personal experiences to illustrate the importance of different values. Ask questions like:
“How did this character show bravery?”
“What would have happened if they had chosen honesty instead of lying?”
Instead of just telling them what’s important, help them connect their actions to their values. For example:
If a child wants to win a soccer game, remind them that teamwork is just as valuable as scoring goals.
If they’re struggling with a tough assignment, encourage perseverance over perfection.
If they feel left out, talk about the importance of kindness and how they can still be a good friend.
Encouraging these conversations helps kids internalize their values and understand their significance. When you see them acting on their values, make sure to point it out to them! Say “I noticed that you were honest with me, even when it wasn’t easy. I am proud of you for staying true to your value”. Encourage conversations about their values whenever you see them arise. This will not only help them, but help you remember your own values as well! Values may shift and grow as children mature. Encourage them to check in with their values regularly. Simple conversations like, “What value helped you today?” or “Did you act in a way that reflects your values?” can foster self-awareness and growth.
3. Model the Values You Want to Teach
Children learn by watching the adults in their lives. If we want our kids to prioritize integrity, kindness, or perseverance, we must model these behaviors ourselves. Share your own experiences, including times when sticking to your values was challenging but rewarding.
Staying True to Their Values in a Changing World
It’s one thing to identify values, but another to stick to them when faced with peer pressure or tough decisions. Here are some ways to help kids stay true to their values:
Role-play scenarios: Practice different situations where they may feel pressured to compromise their values and discuss ways to handle them.
Encourage strong friendships: Help them build relationships with peers who share similar values.
Create a family values statement: A written statement of your family’s core beliefs can serve as a daily reminder of what matters most.
Praise value-based choices: When your child makes a decision aligned with their values, acknowledge and celebrate it!
