Motivational Interviewing: Helping your teenager find motivation.

Understanding Motivation

Motivation is a key factor in everyones lives. Motivation is not a feeling that we will always have and it is important to learn that consistency, dedication and motivation all go hand in hand. The information below can be helpful to anyone! However, teenagers are creating habits that will help them for the rest of their lives! Motivational Interviewing (MI) is an approach that can assist you in fostering motivation in your teenager by exploring their thoughts, feelings, and goals in a supportive manner.

Key Principles of Motivational Interviewing

1. Express Empathy:

- Show understanding and empathy towards your teen's perspective, even if you may not fully agree.

2. Develop Discrepancy:

- Help your teen explore the difference between their current situation and their goals. Encourage reflection on what they want in their lives.

3. Roll with Resistance:

- Instead of confronting resistance, try to understand it and work with your teen to find common ground. Avoid arguments and power struggles.

4. Support Self-Efficacy:

- Encourage your teenager to believe in their ability to make positive changes. Acknowledge their strengths and capabilities.

Motivational Interviewing Strategies for Parents

1. Open-Ended Questions:

- Instead of asking yes/no questions, use open-ended questions to encourage your teen to share more about their thoughts and feelings.

- Example: "Can you tell me more about what you enjoy doing in your free time?"

2. Reflective Listening:

- Reflect back what your teen is saying to show that you understand and are actively listening.

- Example: "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated about school. Can you tell me more about what's going on?"

3. Affirmations:

- Provide positive affirmations to acknowledge your teen's efforts and strengths.

- Example: "I've noticed how hard you've been working on your assignments. That's impressive!"

4. Summarizing:

- Summarize what your teen has shared to demonstrate your understanding.

- Example: "So, it seems like you value independence and want to explore your interests. Is that correct?"

5. Exploring Ambivalence:

- Acknowledge that it's normal for teens to feel ambivalent about change. Explore both sides of the issue together.

- Example: "I hear you're not excited about school right now. What do you like about it, and what makes it challenging?"

Encouraging Motivation in Your Teen

1. Set Realistic Goals:

- Work with your teen to establish small, achievable goals that align with their values and interests.

2. Explore Values:

- Discuss your teen's values and what is important to them. Help them connect their goals to these values.

3. Encourage Independence:

- Foster a sense of autonomy by involving your teen in decision-making processes related to their goals.

4. Celebrate Progress:

- Acknowledge and celebrate even small steps toward positive change. This reinforces motivation.

5. Be Patient and Supportive:

- Understand that change takes time. Offer ongoing support and encouragement, even during setbacks.

Motivational Interviewing Resources

- Books:

- "Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change" by William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick.

- "Motivational Interviewing in Schools: Conversations to Improve Behavior and Learning" by Stephen Rollnick, Sebastian G. Kaplan, and Richard Rutschman.

- Websites:

- [Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT)](http://www.motivationalinterviewing.org/)

“Motivational interviewing is a collaborative conversation style for strengthening a person’s own motivation and commitment to change.”

— William Miller & Stephen Rollnick, 2013Quote Source

Example:

Dad: Hey, I've noticed you seem a bit frustrated with your schoolwork lately. What's been going on?

Son: School is just a drag, Dad. I don't see the point in half the things they make us do.

Dad: I hear you. It sounds like you're feeling pretty frustrated and not finding much meaning in your assignments. What things do you find more interesting?

Son: I like sports and playing video games. Those are way more fun than the boring school stuff.

Dad: Yeah, I get that…Sports and video games are way more exciting. What is it about them that you enjoy?

Son: Well in sports, I guess I like the competition and teamwork. I like being with my friends and it is just fun to get outside.. And with the video games, I think I like the puzzle part of it and the problem-solving stragetigies I have to come up with. I feel like its more fun because I am naturally better at those things.

Dad: I can tell that sports and video games are important to you. When did you start to get better at those activities? Were you always a natural at them?

Son: I was horrible at tennis for years, you know that! I didn’t make varsity till last year! And I used to love playing with legos so even though I was bad at the video games when I first started, I knew that I would eventually pick it up. Now I love playing with my friends online.

 Dad: Yeah you worked really hard to get better at tennis and your video games! You put so much time into your hobbies, it is a lot of commitment you make!  It sounds like you really enjoy those challenges in your life and having your friends by your side during them. Are there any of those elements at school? 

Son: I don't know. Sometimes school just seems like it’s about doing your own thing and getting good grades…I like math and science, but the others just seem like a waste.

Dad: I see where you're coming from. You don’t think every class in school is important.  So besides video games and sports, what else is important to you? I see you do some of your homework!

Son: Well, I think I would be a great engineer. Its all the things I love in puzzles and the collaboration in sports.

Dad: You would be awesome at that! How do you think school will help you to become an engineer? 

Son: I know that math and science are good… But I guess I also need a good GPA to get into college which is stupid since those other classes are a waste of my time… 

Dad: Yeah, I know it was frustrating having to do classes that weren’t as fun… What are some things that you think would be more helpful for you to help you finish your school work in those classes you don’t like as much? 

Son: Maybe for the classes that I don’t like,  I could do my homework with my friends for that collaboration aspect. Then we can reward ourselves with a video game! 

Dad: That's a proactive approach. I'm on board to have study groups at our house! What do you think would be a good first step to make this happen?

Son: Maybe I can mention it at practice to my friends and have them come over after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays! 

Dad: Excellent plan. I'm proud of you for taking the initiative. Let's make a list of some other ideas that might be more helpful to you for school, and we can buy snacks at the store. I'm here to support you in whatever way I can! . How does that sound to you?

Son: Thanks, Dad. I appreciate it. Let's give it a shot.

This example conversation aims to explore the son's interests, emphasize collaboration and challenges, and encourage the son to take an active role in suggesting changes to make school work more engaging. The father demonstrates empathy, explores alternatives, and collaborates with his son to find solutions.