Helping Clients who ‘People Please’

“Sometimes we confuse People Pleasing with being “Kind” and “Easy Going” and feel guilty setting boundaries or saying no.”

HOW TO SPOT IT!

• Saying yes to others when you are at full capacity

• Apologizing when you did nothing wrong because you cannot stand people being upset with you

• Being passive with your concerns and needs

• Continuing to forgive people who refuse to change

• Being everyone’s support system but your own

• Putting everyone’s needs above your own

• Perfectionist with shame of disappointing others

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People Pleasing Handout attached!

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What to do!

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Practice saying no: You dont need to say no to everyone, but begin saying no to people who will support you either way! Saying no is not bad! Think of it as a protector.

If someone is angry that you are setting boundaries, that is a HUGE indicator that they do not have your best interests at heart.

Set healthy boundaries with yourself and others: Set limits for what is acceptable and what is not. Boundaries help build healthy relationships and protect you from unhealthy ones.

Prioritize your needs: When someone asks something of you, pause before saying yes. Listen to what you can handle, and be mindful not to compromise your values.

Stop over apologizing: Apologizes are meant for wrong doing, not wrong being. Say sorry if you hurt someone, not for being someone who is hurt.

Apologizes are meant for wrong doing, not wrong being. Say sorry if you hurt someone, not for being someone who is hurt.

PS: You can still be kind and put your needs first!

Be exactly who you are and let others show you exactly who they are

Process through the fear of rejection and pleasing everyone: Start to understand more about where this need to please everyone comes from. The more you try to run from conflict, the bigger the fear of it will be.

Accept that you can’t please everyone: You can be the ripest, most sweetest apple on the tree and there will ALWAYS be someone who doesn‘t like apples.

Give yourself time to respond: Take a breath and give yourself time to ensure you can handle the request. You never have to respond right away. Be careful of people who put pressure on you to respond asap.

Practice self compassion: Intentionally commit to putting yourself first. People pleasing is searching for others approval instead of your own. Give yourself some grace and love.

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